been a long time, i shouldn'ta left you

its been a while since i last blogged, a lot has happened. Things like i went travelling to Australia last december, for 5 weeks. Came back to london for one week and then left to go to San Jose for what was supposed to be a week and a half.....turned out to be 3 months. so much has happened. but i'll come back and write about it some time soon. theres a lot to be said for the last couple months. and i cant wait to tell you about it.

love x

some people were just not taught well by their parents

Loyalty is faithfulness or a devotion to a person or cause.

The concept of loyalty is an important part of ethics. Plato originally said that only a man who is just can be loyal, and that loyalty is a condition of genuine philosophy. The philosopher Josiah Royce said it was the supreme moral good, and that one's devotion to an object mattered more than the merits of the object itself. Loyalty is a quality you look for in a friend.

friendship

Betrayal is the breaking or violation of a presumptive social contract, trust, or confidence that produces moral and psychological conflict within a relationship amongst individuals, between organizations or between individuals and organizations. Often betrayal is the act of supporting a rival group, or it is a complete break from previously decided upon or presumed norms by one party from the others. Someone who betrays others is commonly called a traitor or betrayer. 

all of the above was taken from wikipedia. i'm too upset right now to elaborate whats going on in my head. will check back later and update.

karma baby. time heals all wounds.

kar·ma  (kärm)

n.

1. Hinduism & Buddhism The total effect of a person's actions and conduct during the successive phases of the person's existence, regarded as determining the person's destiny.

2. Fate; destiny.

3. Informal A distinctive aura, atmosphere, or feeling: There's bad karma around the house today.

25 things...just to pass the night

1) I'm usually the baby of the group. 

2) I used to be more of a tomboy then a girly girl, now i'm pretty much half and half..if that makes sense?

3) I sometimes get really paranoid, like majorly.

4) I love day time tv..

5) I drink way too much alcohol, think that i'm sober and then 15 minutes later, it'll suddenly hit me and i'll be completely intoxicated.

6) Tess + alcohol = vomit.

7) I hate feeling scared, nervous, anxious, worried, paranoid....it makes my heart beat funny.

8) I have asthma, but i never use my inhaler. 

9) I have a big fear of doctors, hospitals and dentists. 

10) I had pneumonia and lived to tell the tale. Although i nearly didn't. 

11) I'm good with languages...and math.

12) I have a logic based brain.

13) I love DIY furniture!

14) I constantly try to be organised...but always end up failing.

15) I don't know what i'd do without my iPod. I think i'd be really moody all the time. 

16) I never really lose things...although i used to always leave my house keys either in my school locker...or at home. I'd then have to wait for one of my parents to come home at like 8 to let me in. Winter was always the worst time to do it. 

17) I love being busy and having too much to do. 

18) I have an over active imagination...and a brain that never stops thinking...although most of the time i'm just day dreaming.

19) I'm a total people pleaser, i just can't let people down.

20) I'm such a bad liar...i always either break eye contact and look at the floor and play with my fingers...or i just giggle..

21) I'm a fairly bad driver, but i love it. I love the freedom that you can have.

22) I've lived in Plano, San Jose, Princeton and London.

23) I've been in love once...and very nearly in love another time.

24) I've had my heart broken twice.

25) I've never lost or broken a phone.

let's get snap happy...crocodiles!

Finally Friday rolled around, a busy day for me! For some reason, i got up early but still managed to be late for Elishas photo shoot. Not having a job, meant that i had to take the 82 [yes i live somewhere on the 82 route] to Selfridges and then walk from there to Central St Martins which is where Elisha was holding the photo shoot. On my rather rushed walk along oxford street, i bumped into an old 'friend' Chewish, having been deleted off his facebook friend list, i was a bit hesistant to speak to him, but i thought i'd speak to him if anything, just to ask why i'd been given the old heave ho on facebook. Oddly enough he had no idea what i was talking about as i running late, i helped him find the bus he needed and made a dash for it! However, i didn't manage to get that much further before bumping into someone else i knew. That person being Tarek, an old friend from years back. He was standing outside Niketown in oxford circus [i guess this is a common meeting place for people..] waiting for my ex boyfriend Akay...as much as i wanted to hover and say hi i was already 50 minutes late and i just didn't want to be any later so i left without really saying much. 

I arrived at St Martins to see Mai-ling getting her make up and hair done and then sat in the make up seat myself to get myself prettied up by make up artist Emily Cripps [wonderful girl with incredible talent, if ever need a make up artist, i know who i'll be calling!] and watched Mai prance around like a bit of a twat. HA! Having only been in front of a real camera only once before many years ago, i didn't know what to do with myself. You suddenly become very aware of yourself, like your hands. These weird fingers at the end of a palm at the base of a stick, do you get what i mean? I was suddenly SO aware of my body and my stance and everything. I think i got a little freaked out. Which will probably show through in the photos. 

Anyway after the shoot, we returned the goods to the respective shops and met up with Albie for another night of partying, only this time at Crystal. The last time i had gone to Crystal, my friends and I had been turned away for looking too young...which was apparently not what they wanted on a thursday night..Before heading there, we met up with albie for a bit of pre drinking munch at Mcdonalds and chatted for a bit before jumping on a bendy bus towards the club. 

We got to Crystal and they were handing out yummy free cocktails, which were quite strong [good times] and it was decked out with sweets and huge love hearts, with a Charlie and the Chocolate factory theme. Whilst we were sitting down at the start of the night, i noticed this guy walking around, [as you do] and i was thinking how much he looked like this guy called Harry Riley who i worked with years ago. He was always the saviour of my shifts, even the really long and boring ones, we'd sneakily eat food or drink drinks, it was great. Anyway, so i watched him for a bit before deciding to subtly walk past him and have a quick frontal peep to see if it was really him or not, it was! It was HARRY! Soon after this, while the night was still fairly early on in the night, Albie had some friends arrive but they had a separate table and he brought them over to ours, and we mingled and chatted. They seemed like a bunch of guys up for a good night, and drank quite a lot of vodka, at one point, i had my hands on of their faces and was encouraging his friends to pour vodka into his mouth. It was his birthday, what better way to celebrate it then to get shit faced and forget it? Not long after that, they left to go to a house party and with them, the fun left too. Kinda. 

After a night of drinking, sitting, chatting and dancing and a quick trip to the cash point we decided to go to Chinatown for some 3 am munch. After dinner, Albies friend Kush took Mai-Ling home as they both lived in a similar direction and Kush was driving. I realised after, that i had put one of my close friends into a car with a stranger. Not a great idea. But she got home in one piece, so no worries...for the time being..

To see Elisha's Blog visit : http://amusingat.blogspot.com/

x

Spontaneity...is occasionally something i'm good at..but not on the regs..

Thursday was another fairly lazy day, my mum stayed home and we just lazed about and then went to my local high street for a bit of shopping and coffee, by coffee i mean hot chocolate with marshmallows and whipped cream [my favourite]. I live in a fairly wealthy neighbourhood so we have lots of shops that sell high fashion brand items, my mum took me to one of the shops as she said she wanted to get me some Prada boots [not really being a fan of Prada, i just went to keep her happy] however, i found the most beautiful pair of Gucci high heeled shoes. They were so gorgeous with a gold buckle at the toe part, and for how high the heels were, they were so comfortable and easy to walk in. As much as i wanted them, i couldn't take my mum up on the offer of them as they were so expensive. So i just walked away, but it's okay, the money can be put to something more useful in the future! Maybe even a Chanel bag!

Anyway, after hanging out with my mother, i went to meet Mai-Ling at Topshop in Oxford shopping for what i assumed was just going to be a cotch. While waiting for Mai, whose always late...i got scouted by some random model agency. Dodgy times. We then ventured to American Apparel [oh how i wish i had one of everything they have there...even the boys stuff!] where Mai tried on some dresses and Elisha came to meet us. The 'cotch' however turned into a massive 3 hour shop at Topshop for a magazine shoot the next day. It was fun, picking out random things, especially as i wasn't buying them...although i did feel bad for Elisha when she had to part with her money, even if it was a temporary separation! ha! After the shopping we ventured to Cha Cha Moon for some food and i had the delicious Fijian style udon! YUM! 

We finished dinner with still hours to go before i felt like going home, so we ventured to meet one of my friends, Rachel, at Molton House on South Molton Street as she had a table there...but sadly, when we got there she said it was shit as Paris Hilton was there and was making drama for all the guests and she recommended going somewhere else if i had any other options. At this point, i thought I'd give Albie a call as he was going to a Giles Deacon party and had vaguely mentioned going out after, so we walked to Wardour street to meet him and decided on going to Maddox. I'd never been to Maddox before, nor had i really had any intention on ever going. This night, i just figured I'd go with the flow, the club itself was nice and filled up completely fairly early with lots of business people and Paris Hilton made an appearance on the table next to us! Having seen a girl take a near tumble, i turned to Mai and made fun of her but subtly enough so that she wouldn't see [i might be mean, but not THAT mean] karma came around and bit me on the arse. I took a nice graceful tumble down the stairs that resulted in me really badly hurting my ankle and denting my dignity, luckily nobody really noticed other than Mai who was behind me and Albie who was leading the way and holding my hand so he probably felt my fall rather then saw it. 

Having fallen down the stairs, i texted O and got a fairly mixed feeling'd [that's not really a word is it?] reply saying that he was in Melbourne amongst other trivial comments like how i didn't go to Maddox with him but that I'd go with my friends...well duh! 

Light Night

Having had a heavy two days previously, my Wednesday consisted of doing absolutely nothing! I slept until around 2 or 3 and stayed in bed for most of the day. Luckily having a laptop has its advantages, like being able to go on MSN and facebook from the comfort of my bed. Wednesday just tends to be one of those days that i don't make plans for, although it's the worst night to stay in on as there is never anything good on TV. However, i've recently got into Waterloo Road on BBC1...but saying that...i have yet to watch it on TV, i've been watching it on BBC iPlayer. Strange how that works out isn't it?

I had made an attempt to contact O [the guy i like], i texted asking what was up with the silence, having not heard from him in a few days, i was actually starting to get a bit worried. Obviously i wasn't worth replying to. I fell asleep soon after anyway, so i wasn't awake for very long waiting for a reply.